Looking California and Feeling Minnesota

Yesterday as part of my blog reconstruction, I decided to add audio to my blog. Bestaudiocodes.com was the sight where I found the code to the song.

The song is Soundgarden's Outshined, from their 1991 album Badmotorfinger. This was the album that launched Soundgarden into the mainstream.
I really have no explaination for the reason I added this particular song. The best explaination I have is lyrically, personally I can relate in some way to the lyrics.

I got up feeling so down
I got off being sold out
I've kept the movie rolling
But the story's getting old now
I just looked in the mirror
Things aren't looking so good
I'm looking California
And feeling Minnesota
So now you know, who gets mystified
Show me the power child
I'd like to say
That I'm down on my knees today
It gives me the butterflies
Gives me away
Till I'm up on my feet again
I'm feeling outshined
Someone let the dogs out
They'll show you where the truth is
The grass is always greener
Where the dogs are shedding
I'm feeling that I'm sober
Even though I'm drinking
I can't get any lower
Still I feel I'm sinking
So now you know who gets mystified
Show me the power child
I'd like to say
That I'm down on my knees today
It gives me the butterflies
Gives me away
Till I'm up on my feet again
I'm feeling outshined

Becoming My Own Advocate

Recently, I decided to cease all of my medicines for bipolar disorder. The primary reason being is my insurance will not cover very many of them.
Mental illness is a legitimate illness, just like any other chronic illness. I have been struggling with Bipolar disorder since I was diagnosed in 2000. Even longer of you count the time before I was diagnosed.
I have decided I would have to become my own advocate if I were to decide to return to medication. I realize that I must come up with the resources for help. Yeah, there are government programs as well as private charity programs. Many people rely on government programs to find themselves in the cold after they realize the bureaucratic nightmare they face to continue their treatment.
There are many negative backlashes for people who do not know or not familiar with bipolar disorder. They may have heard of it, but refer to it as a "crazy person's disease."
This is another way I must become my own advocate. To try to educate those who would like to learn more to the best of my ability. The Internet is full of resources, but someone with the illness can translate and interpretate, to be more precise in describing what people can accomplish with a mental illness.
Many people with a mental illness have become productive members of society.