Out of Control

Recently, I feel my life is totally out of control. I feel I have no control over it. I have had severe mood swings that have affected every aspect of my life. I have trouble concentrating on daily tasks. This why I have not been posting as much. I usually start on a post and lose interest, save it and never post it.
My mind has been a wondering and travelling maze on wonderful, horrifying, and delusional thoughts.
Sometimes it comes to mind, that someone is intentionally doing this to me, but them come to realize that I am mostly doing it to myself.
My family and my wife's family, especially in my wife family, wonder if I am stable enough to continue on. Sometime I ask that question myself, but I continue and move on.
It has become to a point with my family, is they have their own issues and have heard all of mine over and over again
Some of what I have been sharing with my wife, usually gets passed on to her family, which in return becomes a great concern. I guess I make up my own conspiracy theories of how medication and how the mental health industry work. Sometimes I don't feel it is true, but other times I often wonder if my mind of fertile irrational thoughts warrant more investigation.
It is just beginning to a point where I am slamming my head into the wall over and over again.